Sociological and Feminism Musings

I finished the latest book I was reading, and I picked up one of the college course-books that my woman had saved. Every now and again she tries to get me to read them, because "The anthropology book is interesting, and the sociology book has a lot of good information in it." Well, it was the sociology book I grabbed. The dust on the top shelf of a never-cleaned, thousand year old library in the desert could not be more dry.

The thing that made me want to write though, is this: Why do I react so strongly to "feminism"?

It's not that I disagree with the concept, or the practice. Yes, I do believe that in most every way, a woman is treated differently than a man. Yes, frequently this treatment is inferior. But at any time I hear someone starting on any sort of a "feminism" discussion, I tense up the way an abuse victim would at a raised hand (not that I know anything about that, having no experience with abuse myself, but it makes sense).

I think it is backlash. That's the nature of most people, I think, and me in particular. How many times can I hear about "the patriarchy", or "inequality", or how women live in "fear" of me because I might make "undesired sexual queries or advances", while still being expected not to react? I understand and agree and fully believe that some men do make women feel objectified. However, I was raised better than that, and being lumped in with those sorts just because I have a penis... well, that's the same logic that feminists complain against.

Often, I heard a theory that we've swung from one extreme to the other. Instead of oppressing women into the kitchen "where you should be barefoot and pregnant", women have pushed back hard enough, and men have given way enough that a woman doesn't really have any more choice than she used to. Now instead of "Will I go to the Kitchen or the Living Room?", the woman's choice is "Will I become a stock broker, or an athlete?" And the woman who chooses to stay home, or to take any sort of a role that could be seen as "subservient" to her husband, boyfriend, or whatever, that woman is castigated for ignoring all the battles her fore-mothers fought so that she could make her own choices (and "between the Boardroom and the Playing Field," while not stated is definitely implied.) There's no sense of balance.

I find myself rebelling against the "feminist ideal" as it is portrayed today. I don't believe that every woman belongs in the kitchen anymore than I believe that every woman belongs in the men's Clubhouse and be one of the boys. Some women do, some women don't. But the current state of feminism as it is portrayed to me says, "You're just a stupid, patriarchal, overbearing male, and you don't know, so shut up."

Which is where my tensing up comes from. I've been told so often that I'm bad because I have a penis and that my mom is bad because she chose to give up her career to raise kids that even the mention of the feminism buzzwords makes me shut down and lock up.

Why should I listen, why should I support, if the moral of the story is that I'm the enemy and any woman who doesn't chose career (or fill in the "overthrow the patriarchy" blank) is a brainwashed minion?